Estate Planning Documents That Matter While You and Your Loved Ones Are Alive

When most people hear the words “estate planning,” they think about planning for one’s death or what happens after someone dies. This isn’t quite right, as estate planning is something almost everyone needs throughout their life and after they pass away. Estate planning is also not one-and-done, but a process that requires routine updates as life changes. Creating the right documents and using those documents at the right time can help you and your loved ones save time and money and even prevent family conflicts. 

Some critical estate planning documents, like the health care proxy and financial power of attorney, are for use while you or your loved ones are living. These documents are only valid and can only be used while one is alive. These documents protect your choices during illness, injury, cognitive decline, or emergencies when swift decisions are needed. After someone passes, these documents are no longer valid, and other documents, like your will, take effect. 

These documents are about care, advocacy, and clarity when families need it most. 

Before we look at technical details, let’s focus on estate planning documents that matter in life, and why establishing them is a meaningful gift to your family. 

Why later is often too late 

Families rarely avoid planning because they do not care. They avoid it because planning is too expensive or it feels uncomfortable, intimidating, or unnecessary until it suddenly is not. 

Unfortunately, because most Americans have avoided estate planning, most estate planning decisions are made in moments such as a medical emergency, a sudden diagnosis, a hospitalization, a decline in memory or mobility, or a caregiving transition. 

In those moments, families and loved ones need answers to points such as: 

• Who can speak to the doctors and access medical information 

• Who can manage your finances and pay bills 

When those answers are unclear or unknown, this can create stressful situations for loved ones. The goal of planning is not to anticipate every possible scenario, but to remove uncertainty so families and loved ones can focus on care rather than paperwork. Knowing who can make decisions can help save time and prevent stressful situations. 

The documents that matter most while you are alive 

There are two estate planning documents that consistently make the biggest difference during life, not after death. 

• A health care proxy, which is also known as a health care power of attorney (and includes a living will and HIPAA release) 

• A power of attorney 

These documents work to protect a person’s voice when they cannot speak for themselves and allow trusted friends and/or family to act when timing matters. 

What is a health care proxy? 

A health care proxy, also called a health care power of attorney, is a legal document that names a person you trust to make medical decisions if you are unable to do so yourself. The Gentreo health care proxy also includes a living will and HIPAA authorization. 

Covers things like: 

• Life-sustaining treatment 

• Artificial nutrition and hydration 

• Ventilators and breathing machines 

• Pain management 

• End-of-life preferences 

The health care proxy allows the person(s) you chose to talk with doctors and hospitals, access medical information, ask questions and receive updates, make treatment decisions guided by your wishes, and advocate for the choices you wanted to be made. 

• It does not give control while you are capable. 

• It does not override your wishes. 

• It does not mean giving up independence. 

• It does not allow financial decisions. 

As long as you can speak for yourself and you are of sound mind, you remain in charge. 

Why a health care proxy matters so much 

Without a health care proxy, the doctors and medical team may be limited in what information they can share regarding you or your loved one. This can delay decisions, lead families to disagree about next steps, and cause hospitals to default to legal next-of-kin rules that do not reflect relationships or preferences. In some cases, you may need to go to court in order to be able to make decisions you know your loved one would have wanted made. 

A health care proxy provides clarity when clarity is hardest to find. 

Choosing the right health care agent 

The most important part of a health care proxy might not be the document itself, but instead the person you choose. 

Often, the best health care agents tend to be people who stay calm under pressure, can ask difficult questions, respect medical professionals while advocating firmly, understand your values, and will follow your wishes even when emotions are high. It is also about choosing someone who can be there for you to make the decisions when they need to be made. 

This choice is not about hierarchy or obligation.  It is about trust and capability. 

What is a (financial) power of attorney 

A power of attorney is a legal document, also only valid while one is alive, that enables you to appoint someone to manage your financial and legal affairs if you are unable to do so due to illness or other circumstances. 

A power of attorney can become essential during illness, recovery, or cognitive decline, when everyday tasks are difficult. You can also use it when you are traveling, allowing a trusted person to sign a document, such as loan paperwork. 

Depending on how it is written, a power of attorney may allow someone to pay bills, manage bank accounts, handle insurance matters, sign documents, manage property or leases, and address benefits or government paperwork. 

When a power of attorney can be used 

Some powers of attorney are available immediately for convenience and support; other powers activate only if you are incapacitated. When creating the document, you choose based on trust and comfort. This is an incredibly powerful document, so it is imperative to name a person(s) you trust implicitly. This person, if you choose, can control your bank accounts, your assets such as your home and car, and even what bills to pay or not to pay. 

What a power of attorney does not mean 

• A power of attorney does not remove your rights. 

• It does not mean someone takes over your life. 

• It does not prevent you from making decisions. 

• It does not give unlimited authority. 

A power of attorney exists to support you, not replace you. 

Why families often need both documents 

Health care proxies, which, as noted above, are also known as health care powers of attorney, and (financial) powers of attorney, have similar names but serve very different purposes. The health care proxy governs medical decisions.  A financial power of attorney allows someone you trust to make your financial and legal decisions. Together, these documents, if properly written and executed (note that you must often sign these documents in front of witnesses and sometimes in front of a notary), allow families and loved ones to act on your behalf when needed most. 

The emotional impact of having these documents in place 

When these documents exist and are accessible, families often experience less conflict, faster decisions, clearer communication, reduced guilt and second-guessing, and greater emotional relief. When the documents are not correctly in place or do not exist, families often feel unprepared and are forced to guess about what decisions to make. Family and friends may also be afraid of making the wrong choice and are divided at the worst possible time. 

Planning does not eliminate grief, but it does help prevent avoidable stress. 

Organization matters as much as the documents 

Missing documents are like having no documents at all. You need to let the people you choose as your health care representative or the person you appoint to serve as your power of attorney know that you appointed them to serve in those roles. Next, the people you have chosen to represent you need access to your documents so the documents can be used when needed. Make sure your chosen representatives have the most current version, and that those documents have been correctly signed, witnessed, and notarized, if applicable.

Again, remember that having documents is not enough if no one knows where they are, they are not accessible in an emergency, the wrong version is shared, or key people cannot access them when needed. 

Having your documents and important information organized, up to date, and shared with the people who will need them when the time comes can help ensure the decisions you want are made and made as you intended. Using tools like a digital vault and being thoughtful in how you organize your documents and important information can make helping an easier, less stressful experience for both you and the ones caring for you. 

Respectful planning is not pressure-based planning 

Effective estate planning does not rely on urgency tactics, fear-based messaging, sales pressure, or overwhelming families all at once. Respectful planning happens in stages.  It honors readiness, respects family dynamics, and allows people to move at their own pace. 

Having your estate planning documents in place is about you making decisions about what you want to have happen and who you want to make decisions for you. 

Creating your estate planning documents and ensuring they are executed properly in your state allows you to choose someone you trust to make decisions for you. You can also make your decisions known for how you want to be cared for. Having documents in place helps ensure the person you choose can speak for you when timing matters most. 

If you communicate your wishes, your values can guide decisions, and your family is not left guessing (or arguing) about what you might have wanted. These documents do not just protect individuals: they protect relationships. 

A final thought for families 

Creating a health care proxy and a power of attorney is not about expecting the worst. It is about supporting the people you love if the unexpected happens and letting them know your wishes. It is a way of saying you trust them, you have thought this through, and that you are making the decisions, so they don’t have to make decisions for you. 

This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. Consult with a qualified attorney or estate planning professional for personalized guidance. 

Content provided by Gentreo.